I barely have the time or energy to write my column this week. We’re in the middle of a Walking Dead marathon. It’s exhausting. Having to relive all those early episodes with Andrea (who we’ve previously established is one of the most annoying characters on The Walking Dead)? Torture. Apparently, we’re binge-watching The Walking Dead to pre-game for the Season 6 premiere in a few weeks.
I’ve learned this much: Dogs don’t last long when Walkers are around. Why wouldn’t man’s best friend have a place in the zombie apocalypse? We would be able to hear a walker coming from a mile away! We’d attack them to protect you! We’d cuddle up with you at night and keep you warm. And we’d keep you company. What did dogs ever do to get the poopy end of the stick?
I did spot one of my sisters in black and tan (a German Shepherd) in the second episode of Fear the Walking Dead. She was attacked by a Walker in minutes, if that. Cut me a break! We’re smart, we’re fast, and we also believe in self-preservation. You think we’d get mauled by the first Walker that crossed our path? I don’t think so.
One night while I was taking a potty break, I was able to trick my human and escape. I faked right and ran left, and chased the cat all the way around the back of the house. Then I played a little game where I’d stand perfectly still til my human got about five feet away from me, then I’d run like I was on fire, and start the routine over again. It was fun. Til my human started playing her own game, where she dangled a treat in front of me and then grabbed me by the collar and dragged me into the house. Jerk.
I guess the cat got her payback when I was in the crate the following day. She sat on my cage, taunting me, the whole time I was in there. I was not thrilled. She’s an even bigger jerk.
We’ve started taking really long walks, which is awesome. We walk and walk and walk, and walk some more. Then I sleep half the day. This is the life, let me tell you. Good times.
Oh, and I got a new toy! A stuffed apple! It squeaks! I love it! It’s the best toy EVER! (I say that about all my toys.) I like to chew on it and chew on it til it’s nice and wet, then I carry it over to one of my humans and drop it in their lap. Sometimes I can be a big jerk, too.
By the way, if you’re interested in the long-lasting Nylabone Peanut Butter Barbell, you can get it for about $16 on Amazon.
I found this apple dog toy (which looks to be the same one that Frankie has) on Amazon. It has a double-layer exterior and is double-stitched for durability. It has a squeaker and is machine washable. And, the safe filler is made from 100% post-consumer recycled plastic bottles.
P.S. The links to those dog toys are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to click on them, but if you do, you’ll help keep Frankie in dog toys at no cost to you. If Frankie could, she’d give you a big sloppy kiss.