Fridays with Frank: Bath time!

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This has been a week.

I have been in the cage so much, oy vey. Apparently someone had a baby so there was lots of visiting, which means lots of me being left alone. Which means being in the cage. Blech.

Apparently, I look adorable when I sleep. At least,t hat's what I hear every time I close my eyes.

Apparently, I look adorable when I sleep. At least, that’s what I hear every time I close my eyes.

I had a little ear irritation this week, leading me to scratch at my ear and shake my head around until I get a little dizzy. My human cleaned my ear with hydrogen peroxide and it helped a little. Now she cleans my ears every other day, it seems. That’s fun.

Then I went to Petco for a bath. They will not be replacing PetSmart any time soon when it comes to my baths. When my human picked me up, no one gave a rundown about what they did or what they used, so she grumbled about that. Their baths also cost about $10 more than PetSmart. Yikes. That’s the main reason, I think. But I look nice.

My fur is so fluffy and so soft and it smells pretty good, but my human thought I should have smelled even better. And then there are my nails…ahh, my nails. They were supposed to trim and grind them, but they don’t seem much shorter. I jumped on my human when she picked me up and my nails left huge welts on her arms, so she wasn’t too thrilled about that, either.

But…no bow or bandana! Alleluia! (My human wasn’t thrilled about that, either.) All in all, not exactly a ringing endorsement for their salon.

Oh yeah, this is an accident waiting to happen.

Oh yeah, this is an accident waiting to happen.

For the record, I have never taken food off the counter or off a plate, let alone from my human. But I can only withstand so much when you hold peanut butter just inches away from my drooling face.

This was inevitable. I mean, really.

This was inevitable. I mean, really.

 

What a coincidence that there just happened to be a camera at the ready. Uh huh.

Now we’re gonna have some potty talk. (Fair warning!) As a rule, I like to confine my bodily functions to our yard. And by that, I mean that I refuse — whenever possible — to go elsewhere. In fact, in the time that I’ve lived here, we’ve estimated that I “go” in the yard about 98% of the time. So, it’s a safe bet that I won’t “go” while we’re on a walk, right?

Wrong.

I pooped twice while we were on walks this week. Both times, in a driveway.

Leave me in a cage, will ya? I’ll show you.

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