Fridays with Frank: I’m back!

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I hope you noticed that I was MIA last week — you did, right? The humans were in a tizzy because they were preparing for a barbecue and block party, so I didn’t get my usual computer time in.

Speaking of the barbecue/block party, I got to sit outside all day. I was hooked up to a leash that was hooked up to the fence, but still…I got to hang out with my peeps. Score! It was hot, though, so I wasn’t terribly energetic, or happy.

Frank Chewing My Hand

This week has been pretty dull. We never do anything except go for walks. It’s so bo-ring. Sometimes I like to amuse myself by chewing on my humans.

We did wrap up the week by going to the dog park, so that was cool. I don’t really like chasing balls when other dogs are watching. I also don’t like running around when other dogs are watching. Or playing. Or general socializing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not antisocial, per se. I’m just not a social butterfly. I don’t feel the need to do the whole sniffing and slobbering all over every strange dog that happens to make an appearance. I don’t feel compelled to engage every single dog that walks through the gate. I mean, come on. That’s so low-brow.

Oh. My. God. I am antisocial. Oh well, at least I do it with dignity and grace. I’m not all hostile about my antisocialness or anything. I just like…well, being alone.

One plus of the dog park is the lack of photos. I managed to keep a dog within frame of me the majority of the time, which means no pictures. There’s some weird unspoken rule about not taking pictures of other people’s dogs at the dog park. Only a newbie would violate that rule. Or the one about picking up poop within 60 seconds. There’s a “regular” who hangs out at the dog park who yells at the humans if they don’t clean it up within seconds. They call her the Poop Nazi. (It’s a Seinfeld reference.)

Frank Chewed Rope Toy

You can see my feet as I wait anxiously to wrap my mouth around this chew toy again.

On a side note, I’m running out of toys. I have, of course, destroyed most of the toys that I’ve gotten (ropes and stuffed animals are a no-go) but I’ve somehow lost a handful of my durable toys. I’m not sure I’ll be getting replacements at this time, since I’m so irresponsible, whatever that means. (Kristin says: Don’t worry, you are, ya spoiled brat. You can thank Amazon.)

I’ve mentioned some of my toys in previous columns. In addition to ones purchased at Walmart and PetSmart, I’ve also gotten quite a few from Amazon:

Frank Mr. Bill Chew Toy

Remember when I was this little? Me too! #TBT

Mr. Bill Plush Toy (destroyed within a few weeks)

Hide-A-Squirrel Squeak Toy (destroyed within a few weeks)

3-Knot Rope Tug (destroyed in minutes, but at least it was only $3.99)

Frank Elk Antler Chew

Chasing Our Tails Elk Antler (still going strong — and Amazon is much cheaper than in the stores)

Ethical Pets Virtually Indestructible Rubber Ball (held up against chewing but lost)

Kong Goodie Bone Toy (held up against my chewing but lost it — where the hell did it go? On a side note, my human ordered me another one since it’s only $5.38 on Amazon.)

Nylabone Peanut Butter Barbell (I’ve hardly made a dent in it in two months; it’s not one of my preferred toys but at least it’s not lost.)

Frank Drooling on the Cat

While it’s amusing that my human caught this on film, let’s not overlook the fact that she didn’t wipe my drool off the cat just so she could take a picture. #bloggerproblems

Until I get my new toys, I’ll continue chewing on Mortimer. She doesn’t mind filling in for my toys. I don’t think she does, anyway.

Don’t worry — if you missed my last column (or if you want to start at the beginning) you can still catch up with the haps.



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