Have you heard of woot, apparently yet another deal site? Yeah, me neither.
I discovered them today when I heard about this…
This was apparently woot’s attempt at humorous commentary while trying to sell rechargeable batteries. Isn’t it just so clever and witty?
There are a lot of opposing teams coming through town, so it’s time to stock up on some stuff to heave at them!
Throwing any lame batteries shows them that you’re angry. Throwing rechargeable batteries shows that you’ve taken your rage to a whole new level!
You’re sending a message to that opposing players; you’re saying, “I could’ve recharged these things 100s of times and kept using them over and over, but instead, I chose to forgo practicality and employ them only once, for the purpose of pelting you. Such is my hatred for your team!”
Honestly, it’s what they deserve. Seriously! How dare THEY come to YOUR stadium for a SCHEDULED game! THE NERVE!
Need I mention that they should proofread their copy? “You’re sending a message to that opposing players”? Oops. And, calm down with the exclamation points already.
So, since I’d never heard of woot, which is saying something, since I figured I’d heard of just about every deal site (ahem), I started poking around their site.
I thought this was interesting:
Why do the product descriptions say such bizarre, unhinged, or unflattering things?
We harbor a burning need to entertain. It’s an affliction: we crave the laughter of the crowd the way vampires crave blood. We’re also compelled to blurt out the truth about products. We’d rather you didn’t buy from us than regretted buying from us. But keep this in mind about our product descriptions: they’re for entertainment purposes and frequently employ literary point of view; the narratives do not express Woot’s editorial opinion. Especially if you disagree with it.
“We’d rather you didn’t buy from us.” All right then.
I was a little surprised to see this sort of “commentary” for a deal site. I mean, are we that bad?
In a 2011 issue of GQ, Phillies and Eagles fans were named the #1 and #2 meanest fans in America. Of course they mentioned that Eagles fans booed Santa Claus (that will never go away, I’m afraid) and cheered during Michael Irvin’s career-ending injury. OK, now that’s plain offensive and wrong. I’m not defending that. The GQ article quoted legend (and Philly fan favorite) Pete Rose: ”Some of these people would boo the crack in the Liberty Bell.” GQ added, “More likely, these savages would have thrown the battery that cracked it.”
Savages? That’s a bit much.
The July issue of Men’s Journal (which was probably a super scientific poll) named Philadelphia fans as the most obnoxious fans in baseball. One unnamed player (not a Phillie, of course) said, “They boo their own players.”
Uh, yeah. Sometimes we do. If a player makes an error that costs us a run — or, God forbid, the game — or makes an awful play or the closer walks in the tying run…yeah, we would boo that. We are passionate. We are intense. We take sports personally. When the Phillies lost in Game 5 (in the 2011 postseason), with Ryan Howard tearing his Achilles tendon as the last bit of salt in the gaping wound? The collective mood around Philadelphia was somber, even melancholic.
Disappointed? That’s how we feel if a player scores a home run when no one is on base. Getting the picture? We take this shit seriously.
But there’s a flip side to that. We are committed, devoted, fiercely passionate about our players. Fiercely. They’re like family. Family that we hold to high standards. They screw up, we’re gonna let them know. That’s how it is. But, at the end of the day, we love them. To death.
Not that Urban Dictionary is a source for, well, anything, but the #1 definition for “Philly fans” is as follows…
Classless sports fans who have turned collective whining into an art form. Best known for pelting Santa Claus with iceballs and booing sick children. Ghoulish houligans who deserve the hope-suckage created by the early playoff exits of the Eagles and the Flyers.
OK, fans threw snowballs at a raggedy, last-minute replacement for the Santa Claus who didn’t show for the halftime show in 1968. The Santa fill-in was a fan plucked from the stands who weighed about 170 pounds. However, there were more than 50,000 fans at the Eagles game on that miserable day — temperatures in the 20s, wind gusts of up to 30 mph, and roughly three inches of snow and slush on their seats when they arrived at the stadium. But they were there.
As far as booing sick children, I think they mean the time Flyers fans were booing one of the most hated players in hockey, Sidney Crosby, whose face had appeared on the jumbotron. It just so happens, that Crosby was appearing in a public service announcement for cancer when fans were booing. Oops.
The second entry is a bit more honest:
Sports fans from the vicinity of Philly or South Jersey. Have earned a reputation for their brutality. Will not hesitate to boo, chide, catcall, condemn, openly vilify, and assault elderly women.
Also, they are pretty ruthless to visiting sports teams. For that matter, they are ruthless to home teams who screw up.
All told, these are the greatest sports fans in the world, and any team would love to have their support, while every other team fears their wrath.
The third entry is a jab (at Chicago and Detroit, at the very least), but I’ll take it:
Fans that have a bad reputation despite being one of the only cities that does not riot and burn its own city after a championship.
Face it, Philly, it is what it is. We’re not shaking this stigma any time soon. If it’s any consolation, it’s not just the fans who get the shaft…the players get it, too.
In June, Sports Illustrated published its list of baseball’s most overrated players (voted on by other players) — four Phillies made the list. Jonathan Papelbon, Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay, and Cole Hamels.
Halladay is a two-time Cy Young Award winner (2003 and 2010), has a coveted perfect game to his credit (only the 20th in baseball history), and leads all active pitchers in complete games, with 66 to his name. Twenty of those were shutouts. Hamels was the 2008 World Series MVP, has a career ERA of 3.36, and has more than 1,100 strikeouts in his career. Lee also won the Cy Young (while in the American League). As for newcomer Papelbon, well, he fits right in with Philly fans. A few years ago, he publicly blasted his own teammate (Manny Ramirez), calling him a “cancer” during an interview with Esquire.
Now that’s a player we can rally behind.
Unless he gets called for a balk or loads the bases in the 9th inning. Then we’ll totally boo his ass.